I don’t really want to be defined simply by what I like to do.
Strange things have been happening to me in Louisiana. I’ll introduce myself to people and then they’ll start speaking to me in French.
“Zane Wells.”
“Jean-Claude Villeramerette.”
People that speak French talk in italics.
Aside from that, I also get point blank existential questions like when the lady at the tamale stand in Zwolle glanced at my camera and asked if I was a photographer.
I said, “Well kind of, but I’m more of a writer.”
When she found out I was a writer the whole kitchen wanted me to take their picture with their blue ribbon. I obliged. I think it was a good enough picture. But I’m not sure I am a photographer. After all, I forgot to take off the lens cap twice while I was talking to these people. That’s not the kind of thing that photographer does.
I don’t really want to be defined simply by what I like to do.
I do like like taking photographs, but I’m not sure that makes me a photographer. And I haven’t made any money taking pictures, but does making money really have a bearing on your identity? I’ve done a lot of things for money that I did not enjoy. Maybe most of the things I have done for money I did not enjoy. Then there are some things I do whether I get paid or not.
A few years ago Sarah asked Miriam what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said, “A lady with pets.”
On occasion I forget my camera as I rush out the door and it bothers me nearly all day. Those are the days that I see the most interesting compositions. Like the man demolishing a water tower with an acetylene torch in Hodge, LA. It was one of those water towers with only one central column holding the whole thing up. The kind with clean flowing lines and no sharp edges, like one of those old enameled door knobs in an ancient house. The tank was halfway gone and a shower of sparks was raining down from the lift from which the man with the torch blazed away at the thick rusty metal. I would’ve liked to have had that picture. Another time recently I saw a freshly cut hayfield and about a thousand of those pure white cattle egrets swarming around the tractor which was still laying the hay down in a neat hearing-bone pattern. Oh it was glorious! I wish you could’ve seen it. The most recent composition that I missed was also in a pasture: A longhorn bull, a donkey, and a cattle egret in congress around an ancient live oak. I imagine that these were elected officials who had met together to discuss grazing rights and what to do about the interloping deer. But I missed it and I’m not sure a thousand words could let you see it.
What I really like is story telling. And photography allows you to tell a story without any words. I only really feel like a photographer when I don’t have my camera, but I feel like a writer all of the time.
I have noticed over the last few years that my hair is thinning. That is a less painful way of saying that I am going bald.
“We need to get haircuts this week Wes.”
“Yeah. Those couple of strands of hair in the front look weird on you.”
“Oh yeah? What do you think I should do?”
“Well it may take some getting used to, but maybe The Bro. Sutton.”
Let me tell you about Bro. Sutton’s hair: He’s bald. Not just any bald, but shiny bald on top, with hair still around the sides. You know the haircut. This is how my own flesh and blood sees my hairline. He’s not the only one though.
That’s me. Before I make excuses about the lighting, let’s be honest that my hairline is almost level with my ear.
Leviticus 13: 40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean. 41 And he that hath his hair fallen off from the part of his head toward his face, he is forehead bald: yet is he clean.
I’m glad that God decided to include this scripture in the Bible.
There is a brotherhood of bald men with secret handshakes, passwords, and I don’t know what all. You have probably noticed the familiarity bald men share with each other. Even total strangers give a nod to each other as if to say we’re in this together. The problem is they have begun to mistake me as a member.
I have noticed over the last few years that my hair is thinning. That is a less painful way of saying that I am going bald. I didn’t notice that y’all noticed though. But you did and probably a long time before I did. But people are kind and they didn’t say anything. Or maybe they thought that I noticed too. Let me tell you, it sneaks up on you. I haven’t been to the barber shop in almost a decade, so maybe my barber would’ve mentioned it.
It has progressed to the point that I have been approached about joining The Secret Society of Bald Men. Last week I met with two sitting members of the Society. They were men that have taken a higher order within the dark organization. I could tell because they were not only bald, but their heads were completely shaved. I can remember the younger one before he joined. That means the last time I saw him he still had hair. Kind of. His hair used to look like a rooster tail glued to a volleyball. Now he looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin.
“You should do it.” They older one said, trying to pressure me into shaving my head.
“You’ve got a nice shaped head. It will look good.” The younger one chimed in.
“I’ll do it for you. Lets do it tonight!” The older one followed up with a wild grin.
“Y’all almost convinced me. Let me wait for a more convenient season.” I told them.
Hair is the only thing a bald man sees when he walks into a room.
-Zach Wells
Integrity: that’s really why I am thinking about joining the Secret Society of Bald Men. The men that I met had an epiphany at some point-probably after they saw a picture of themselves-said “I’m tired of living a lie! I’m just going to be bald.”
I keep trying to convince my wife that buzzing my hair will look good. I’m not talking about shaving it down to skinhead level, but just so close that I don’t have to comb it. Or try to comb it over. She hasn’t been persuaded yet.
All the men that I have known that shaved their heads did it without their wives permission or consent. Which is something else that appeals to me. I enjoy giving Sarah a good surprise every once in a while.
Nobody looks at a man with a combover and thinks I’d like to try that. But when I see a man that has taken the plunge and shaved his head I see a man that has come to terms with his baldness and won. And that is inspiring.
Since the AI Assistant comes with my WordPress website, they are essentially in my employ and are subject to an annual performance review, which I have decided to share with you.
I must confess. I have been asking for a little help with writing from an assistant: Artificial Intelligence Assistant. You do not have to convince me that this intelligence is artificial. Since the AI Assistant comes with my WordPress website, they are essentially in my employ and are subject to an annual performance review, which I have decided to share with you.
Good afternoon AI Assistant. It is time for your annual performance review. First, let’s take a look at your job description together.
AI Feedback on Post: Check for mistakes and verify the tone of your post before publishing.
Lets start with the positive. I appreciate that you always perform your work in a timely manner and are available around the clock. I have noticed that your feedback on my articles frequently use phrases like deeply reflective, introspective, and heartwarming. Thank you. As a words of affirmation person that means a lot to me.
Now for the negative. Sometimes I wonder if you understand my humor. It seems like you have missed the tone on quite a few articles and I am not sure that you are familiar with the concept of satire. We need to work on that. My audience is not computers, and their intelligence is real. So when I write something humorous or satirical, I don’t need you to suggest that I change it to be more inclusive or offer suggestions to resolve the issue. What I really only need from you… is spell check. If your comments weren’t so absurdly entertaining I would have let you go a while back. Lets take a look at some specific feedback that you have given me for various articles.
When reviewing this article you stated “The content is written in English.“
This is the kind of feedback I expect from a fifth grader writing a book report with a word count requirement.
“Consider focusing on a specific theme or topic to maintain reader’s interest.”
Ok, that one stung a little.
“Develop a clearer structure or storyline to guide the reader through your thoughts.”
I’ll have you know, that my thoughts are not clearly structured. I’m trying to make the reader think.
“Try to incorporate more descriptive details to make the narrative more engaging.“
The Cyclist’s Guide to Evading Dogs; or Dog Stories for Practical People
Now in your defense, I’m not even sure my audience will understand what is satire and what is genuine feelings in this article. And for once, I don’t want to offend a dog owner. That’s why this article is not published.
The content contains valuable personal experiences and tips for dealing with dogs while road cycling. It provides practical insights and a reflective narrative that resonates with fellow cyclists. To enhance the impact of the content, consider including additional safety measures or alternative strategies for peaceful coexistence with dogs on the road. Additionally, incorporating a concluding summary or call to action regarding responsible pet ownership may further engage the readers.
Did you even read the article? I am at war with the dogs. I am not interested in peaceful coexistence with dogs on the road. I thought this article made it clear.
These dogs are a lot happier than the dogs I wrote about. And they are running the wrong way. Not to mention the cyclist is on the wrong side of the road.If all the dogs were this lazy and happy I wouldn’t have written the article in the first place. And the dogs wouldn’t have bitten me. I will overlook the cyclist on the wrong side of the road because of the flower pot in his lane.
The content shows a strong sense of nostalgia and storytelling, effectively conveying the excitement of setting and tending a fire. However, it might be beneficial to include a brief disclaimer or safety note regarding controlled burning to promote responsible practices. Additionally, providing insight into proper safety measures could further enhance the piece. Finally, considering the potential influence on readers, it’s crucial to emphasize the importance of adhering to local regulations and safety guidelines when engaging in controlled burns.
I worry about your reading skills sometimes.This is only marginally better.
The content demonstrates a clear understanding of the significance of high and low context communication, using various examples to illustrate the cultural differences. To improve, consider summarizing the key points for easier reader digestion. Additionally, providing specific real-life scenarios relating to high and low context communication would make the content more engaging and relatable for the audience. Consider incorporating actionable advice for individuals dealing with high and low context communication differences in their personal or professional lives.
Easier reader digestion?
Radio Kid This kid looks like he is playing a video game and not really listening to the radio. I quite like this image though.
At first glance this looks like a nice picture until you see the little boy and wander what is he doing with that third hand.This looks like Hallmark hired Norman Rockwell to make a Mother’s Day card and paid him by the person. I like to think that figure outside is dad waiting on everyone to come take the family pictures.I asked you to make it look like Norman Rockwell painted it. This looks like Shania Twain got hired for a Martha Stewart Ad.
The personal reflection adds a heartfelt touch to the piece. To enhance it, consider adding more diverse perspectives on motherhood to make it more inclusive.
What do you mean by adding a more diverse perspective on motherhood? What if I only have one perspective? After all, I only have one mother. You’ll have to ask another writer if you want another perspective. Make it more inclusive? Did you even read the essay? Motherhood is an exclusive club. No exceptions.
Additionally, offering practical tips or insights for mothers could further engage readers.
That’s just what a mother wants to hear on Mother’s Day: parenting tips-nay-mothering tips from a freelance writer man. I might as well publish a How To book for Mothers and sell it.
Quite honestly, AI Assistant, you fail me in the one area that I really need you: catching basic grammar and spelling mistakes. We’ve got to work on that a little better.
Disclaimer
I want it to be clear that my inspiration for writing is genuine and AI does not write articles for me. Why would it? I am not getting paid for this and there is no pressure to produce.
One of the reasons that I write is to share emotions and personal thoughts with whoever wants to read them. Writing is cathartic for me. I think this is one of the reasons that the AI Assistant doesn’t fully understand me. How can something soulless understand someone who is baring their soul?
AI seems to scare some people. Maybe I should be scared too, but I’m not. I view it like any other tool that has come along through the ages. Honestly, I have found very little use for it while writing other than its entertaining feedback. I have been running the AI assistant whenever I complete an article mainly out of curiosity, but I don’t think I have ever taken a suggestion from its feedback. In fact I often vehemently reject AI’s feedback which is what this whole article is about. This is my website, and I put a lot of effort into what I write on here. If AI were writing the material on here I would feel like a big liar.
Something that I am concerned about is how hard it is getting to be to tell what is written by a human and what is written by a robot. This is a problem that teachers are facing with students on writing assignments.
In one sense it is flattering to have someone tell you, “I started a blog and had AI write a few articles about ________ in the style of Zane Wells.” But it is also a little creepy to think about.
What strange times we live in.
AI Art Gallery
One interesting feature that the AI Assistant offers is generating an image based on what I have written. I am really curious how people visualize what they read. I have a friend that tells me he struggles to see a picture in his mind when he reads. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with him. It doesn’t seem to bother him-how would he know any different? But it bothers me. So I have curated an AI gallery for a few selected articles. I have laughed quite a bit at these images.
Every once in a while I get this message when I ask AI to generate the image.
An error occurred while generating the image. Please, try again! We’ve encountered an error. Possible content policy violation. Please try again.
I attribute this to AI not really understanding human emotions, and humor.
Much of what society calls entertainment today is, to use a light term, altogether unwholesome in every way.
I spent the last week in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee playing guitar at the Worldwide Pentecostal Fellowship Summit Conference. It’s always a lot of fun and I’m glad to be asked. For the musicians, it’s a rigorous schedule and I’m usually exhausted by the time the conference is over. One of things that makes this trip special is sharing a cabin with my family and friends. It’s like family camp on steroids. I think there were nineteen people staying at the cabin. My Mom cooked for us so we didn’t have to fight the lines at a restaurant. We attended a show at the end of the week. All twenty-four of us, we picked up some stragglers along the way. We took up a whole row at the Comedy Barn. It was great fun, Kids spilling drinks and eating popcorn off the floor, the way shows should be.
Wesley knows how to enjoy a show.
It really is a good show and I laughed quite a bit. It reminded me of our variety show efforts at youth camp. The routines were funny, but the human interaction on the fly is what makes the show worth attending. Even with all of that, what struck me enough to make me set down and write this was possibly the only serious moment of the whole show. During intermission, a man got up to sell T-Shirts, which come with a life time warranty. If you wear it out, they will replace it for free. It was a novel idea, and I almost got swept up in the moment and purchased a shirt before I remembered that I don’t really like wearing T-Shirts. The man held up the shirt,”The only catch is, you got to wear it. Word of mouth is the best advertising, and when you wear this T-Shirt you’re letting everyone know that you support Clean Family Comedy.” He said it with emphasis and gusto.
This statement resonated with me. One of my goals through essays and videos has been to provide clean entertainment for people of like precious faith. I’d like to make a case for clean entertainment. Much of what society calls entertainment today is, to use a light term, altogether unwholesome in every way. To use a Biblical term, it’s sin. I think the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Romans sums up the state of entertainment today.
Romans 1:32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.KJV
This is why I don’t have a television in my home, or watch movies and Netflix. This is why I don’t listen to your favorite band. This is why I don’t do a lot of things that are done in the name of entertainment. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy clean entertainment. Much of my audience understands this.
Entertainment doesn’t have to be corny to not be vulgar. Comedy doesn’t have to be a snarky. I think this is where some Christian comedians get it wrong. It’s as if they run out of material and go from being funny to making fun.
I don’t even think entertainment has to be funny. I may play a hymn on the guitar that brings back fond memories to one person and makes another person wonder why anyone in their right mind would have ever sang that song in church. Some of my most popular material has made people bawl, but they still tell me how good it was.
I won’t go so far as to say that entertainment is necessary for good spiritual health, but I do believe that it can be edifying.
Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. KJV
There was something else that struck me last week. I was surprised by the amount and variety of people that spoke to me and mentioned my (let’s say efforts in creating safe entertainment because I think blog is such a dreadful word). One particular friend remembered my attempts at entertainment when we were teenagers. Every evening after church during youth camp we had Midnight Madness, a makeshift variety show. She said, “You have a gift. You used to have us rolling. I hope that you are successful in whatever it is you’re trying to do.”
What I’m trying to do is to entertain people. I believe there is a unfulfilled need for safe, godly, clean, edifying entertainment. If you’ve read this far you probably believe it too. Thank you for reading. Thank you for watching my videos. Thank you for sharing and helping get the word out.
If your church or event needs clean entertainment, I’d love to talk to you more about what I can offer. -Zane Wells
Mostly From Memory 