Category: Uncategorized

Downhill Uphill

“He went downhill fast.” That’s the kind of thing we say when someone gets terminally ill and doesn’t recover. It is a difficult thing to watch people go downhill. This is one of the reasons that I dread visiting nursing homes.

I was thinking about this phrase this morning as I was going down a steep hill on my bicycle. It really doesn’t take much effort at all to go downhill. Everyone can go fast downhill. You just keep it in the road, if that is the course that is set before you. But it takes real work to go uphill. And to go uphill fast demands an extraordinary amount of energy.

Do you ever get caught in this situation? You are riding shotgun and the driver answers the phone and the phone call plays through the vehicles sound system. You become an involuntary, nonspeaking party to the phone call. It is not that you are intruding by listening, but you would be intruding by talking. You go through something similar in real life watching people make decisions. I guess that is some how wrapped up in minding your own business. Anyway, It is hard for me to not pay attention to a conversation. By the way, do you ever quit listening to someone that is talking to you because you overhear a more interesting conversation off to the side? That is something that I struggle with. I won’t go into the finer details of what the conversation was about but this line stood out to me.

Things are going well but its all uphill.

I guess that means that they are putting in the effort. It sure sounded like it. And that is the point I am trying to make: making progress is really just a gentler way of saying that you are doing a lot of hard work and it is paying off. And you know, work is fun to watch. Especially if someone else is doing it.

I remember when we added an education wing to the church in Winchester. Cecil and I met every morning just down the hill from the church before we started our mowing rounds. I was not the early riser that I am today and Cecil always beat me to work. I’d pull in and start getting the truck and mowers in order before I almost had to drag him away from the construction site. He would be up there talking to the workers, pointing at things, telling them God knows what. Checking on that construction site really made him grin. Old men and little boys can watch bulldozers all day. I think we all like to watch work because it is inspiring.

I catch myself doing it now. Man they didn’t waste any time getting that house built! (Is this how you talk to yourself?) Progress is exciting. My community is patiently waiting for our Chick Fil A to be rebuilt. We are all emotionally invested in the progress of that building. We celebrate at each milestone. They got the sign on the wall!

When you are actually working on the construction site, or really any kind of project it can be difficult to appreciate your progress because you are constantly seeing it. Watching children grow up is a similar phenomenon. You hardly notice it when you see them every day, but the folks that just see them at Thanksgiving are shocked by their growth. If you are working on something that matters, it is good to remind yourself every once that your labor is not in vain.

Galatian 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Out of Tune

Have you ever wondered why guitars have frets and violins do not? I didn’t think so. I guess I better tell you what a fret is now. A fret is a thin strip of metal that runs perpendicular to the strings on a guitar. In theory it makes it easier to play a correct note. On a fretless instrument you have to rely in your ear and not a fret to play the correct note.

I do not own a violin but I spent a little time with one in my first round of college. I kept asking the wrong questions. Where is C? I should have asked, What does C sound like? I have come a long way since then on guitar. And I am beginning to understand why the concert music world did not respect the guitar until players like Andreas Segovia and Julian Bream paved the way for classical guitar in the twentieth century. I suppose I might as well tell you now that the guitar is out of tune. Or you could say it is equally in and out of tune. And this has bothered me for years.

I discovered this issue as a young player when I realized that guitars need regular maintenance. You need to tune a guitar’s open strings every time you play, but occasionally you have to check the guitars intonation. That means you make sure that the guitar is in tune at the 12th fret octave as well as the open string. If it is flat at the octave you can adjust the guitar’s bridge to make the string shorter and therefore sharpen the pitch. You lengthen the string to flatten it if the pitch is sharp at the octave. But there is a mathematical problem with tuning that is highlighted on fretted instruments: you can either have the octaves in tune, or the Fifths in tune, but not both. (Fifths are the fifth degree of the major scale and are the foundation of western music.) I did not have this information all of those years ago, I just noticed that I could never get the tuning perfect. And I thought there was something wrong with my instrument. It turns out it was not my guitar, but the whole tuning system in general. The piano suffers from the same problem.

I am tuning an octave on this old piano by ear. When you play two frequencies that do not match, say 400 hertz and 445 hertz, you can hear the difference of 5 hertz as a thumping sound called beats. You should be able to hear the beats disappear as the octave is brought in tune.

There have been a number of attempts made to deal with this issue over the past thousand or so years. Various temperaments, or tuning systems have been developed to to mitigate the Pythagorean Comma, or tuning gap. Apparently Pythagorus- yes that Pythagorus from your geometry class- wrestled with this issue.

Now that we have the tuning system worked out people only want to write four chord pop songs.

Enter the guitar around 500 years ago. I’d like to think that a prototypical guitar player invented the guitar. He was probably aware of the tuning issues, and thought, What if I just put these frets on the neck, make everything straight, and hope for the best? Guitar players are infamous for not being able to read music. Maybe he put frets on the fingerboard because he was tired of guessing where to put his fingers. Maybe he didn’t want to memorize notes but was happy to play patterns. At any rate guitars have been using equal temperament tuning since the renaissance and pianos waited to adopt it until right after the Boer Wars. And I think that’s why the guitar didn’t start gaining notoriety until the 1930s. Equal temperament tuning compromises the fifths in each key so the instrument can play fairly in tune across all the keys. This is why I have never been able to tune my guitar to my idealists standards. That brings me a small amount of psychological pain. But I have fallen in love with the guitar and I believe we can work our differences out.

Imagine now if this tuning phenomenon did not plague musicians and instrument makers. What if we could have the octaves and the fifths in tune? I don’t think that music would be what it is today. Part of the beauty of music is figuring out what works and what doesn’t. If everything was perfect there would be no dissonance, and how could we write music about pain and suffering without dissonance? J.S. Bach wrote his masterpiece The Well Tempered Clavier on an imperfect instrument. He wrote a piece of music in every key for the Harpsichord or Clavichord. These are stringed keyboard instruments that predated the piano. The genius of these pieces are the notes that he avoids because the well tempered tuning system still had some major dissonance issues. This piece is still studied today by aspiring pianists.

Think about this: more than likely, all of the piano music that you have ever heard in your whole life has not been in tune.

I suppose every good story needs a moral. Life is not always perfect. It can be frustrating to find the perfect balance because there may be no perfect balance. You just have to do the best that you can do with what you have. And often that ends up being the most beautiful thing anyway.

Compliments

Are you better at giving or receiving compliments?

I imagine that most people like to have nice things said about them. Especially the Words of Affirmation people. I never remember exactly what my love language is because I never finished reading that book. There wasn’t enough plot for me. However, I have always enjoyed complimenting people. Although my sister-in-law, sister, and even my wife sometimes tell me that I am not very good at it. They say things like, I never know if you are being nice or making fun of me.

Compliments are like bubble gum, its ok to chew on them for a while, just don’t swallow them.

For instance a generic compliment to one of them might sound something like this, “I like that dress.” That is boring, and easily forgotten. To give a good compliment you have to imagine that your 3rd grade teacher is grading you on your effort. “I like that dress” is at best average. It lacks creativity and inspiration. Now try something like, “That dress reminds me of some curtains I saw at a museum exhibit about Japanese textiles.” See how that is more memorable? Some thought went into that. But even my best efforts get responses like Zane, no woman wants to hear that her clothes look like curtains.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Proverbs 18:21

Maybe I am not very good at giving compliments but I really do try because I believe in the power of words. I believe that words can be a source of inspiration. I believe that words can set a person’s mind in the right direction. This is why I feel compelled to write. But maintaining a blog in the era of the reel to sometimes feels like a lost cause. I must admit that I occasionally wonder if my energy is being wasted. And it is difficult to find inspiration to write when you are questioning whether what you are doing matters.

And then I’ll meet a real live person who has read my blog and they will compliment me on my writing and it inspires me so much that I stay up until 2:45am writing run on sentences because I am drawing inspiration from the power of their words.

Let me back up a little bit. I know that people read my blog because the website tells me these kinds of things. But it uses numbers and I have always thought that numbers were so impersonal. So meeting a reader in person gives me a clearer context for the numbers.

Whenever someone approaches me to tell me that they read my blog I feel incredibly vulnerable. I usually write in isolation so to me it feels like I am merely putting thoughts into words as a mental exercise. Some of the essays that have reached the most people were really not intended for entertainment but were my way of grieving. Many of the things I have written are simply thoughts that will not leave me alone and I only get peace when I release them to the outside world. There is something cathartic about reaching into the infinite and grabbing hold of something and wrestling it into the finite so that others can view it.

I also feel that since no one saw me write it that no one knows that I wrote it. I take refuge in this assumed anonymity. Furthermore, because I feel like that what I write already exists in a perfect form in the infinite, I can only take a small amount of responsibility for making it finite. These personal psychological constructs give me a false sense that no one really reads anything I write.

Whenever you read someones work you get an insight into their mind. In a sense you become familiar with the deepest part of that person. As the reader you also enjoy a sense of real anonymity in relation to the author. This is why I always feel vulnerable when I meet with someone who is a fan of my work because I feel like they can read my mind, but I cannot read theirs. But I can see it in their eyes if they really have read. Maybe they cried with me. Maybe they have the same questions that I do. Maybe they too used to go swimming in the creek with the town drunk when they were kids.

It happened to me last night as I was walking out of the conference center here in Pigeon Forge, TN. They took me by surprise.

“Brother Wells I read your blog and I love your style of writing.”

Whenever something like this happens I just say “Thank you!” But I try to say it in italics because I really mean it and I am otherwise speechless. I always think of something nice to say or questions that I should have asked hours later.

Then they said, “I feel like I know you.” This may be one of the highest compliments I have received on my writing. Complimenting someone involves a going out of yourself in much the same way that writing does. Saying something has the power of putting your thoughts into words and transferring them into someone else’s mind. And you may never know how much your words may help someone.

How To Go To College As An Adult

I can’t slay your college giant, but I can tell you how I killed mine.

I started my higher education career at Gateway College of Evangelism back in 2005. Fresh out of high school. But I left at the end of the semester to go work in youth ministry in Virginia. I did that for 12 years. I have no regrets. But I have always felt like college was a big ugly giant following me around every day. I knew that if I didn’t square up with him and whip him then he would never leave me alone.

Maybe that’s how you feel. If so, I can’t slay your college giant. But I can tell you how I killed mine: Slowly.

Zane, you’re too smart to not go to college.

Pastor Jeremy Wilbanks. (And a bunch of other people)

Make a Decision

This is where you confront college. I am going to engage in mortal combat with this giant. I am not going to give up until I kill him. And when I am done I am going to hang him on the wall in my office.

Have a Plan

You don’t just pick a fight with a giant without having some kind of plan. You need to know what you are going to study. You need a plan for when you will study. You need to know how much time you can allot for study so you don’t overwhelm yourself.

“College is really just a lot of reading.”

Non-traditional student. That is the label that college puts on you when you work a full-time job, are raising a family, and have many commitments outside of work. A traditional student has little or no responsibilities and is able to tackle college full-time straight out of high school. While non-traditional students do have more work and family responsibilities, they are not bound by traditional expectations. I guess I have always been a non-traditional student since I went year-round k-12. I also did a stint at Wilson University where you could only take one class at a time, but at your own pace. So if you wanted to complete a course in a month you had the freedom to do it. You could even test out of some subjects. This confused the tar out of my employer when I took advantage of their tuition reimbursement program.

There is a freedom in being able to make your own attack plan. I found that I was able to take two classes per semester and one each summer. It was a war of attrition.

College is expensive. You need to have a plan for paying for college. I have several friends that are still harrowed by student loan debt. For years I avoided going to college because I felt that it was irresponsible to accumulate debt. And I still feel that way. But it turns out if you are broke enough there is a strong chance that you can get a Pell Grant. And If you are persistent in applying, you could very well be granted a scholarship. I received a scholarship for Business Administration because I wrote an essay. Which makes me wonder how I earned a C in English Composition II.

Stay Motivated

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

One of the biggest motivators for me was a promise that I made to my Dad.

“I’m going to go back to college Dad.” This was one of the last things I told Dad while he was still lucid. He died a few days later. That was in 2018. It is 2023 now and I have finally graduated with a Associate in Science, Business Administration degree. Magna cum laude. This degree would only take a traditional student a couple of years at the most to complete. But I was and will always be a non-traditional student.

I really wish I could tell my Dad about this. But he is gone so I am telling you. I did something that no other Wells that I know has ever done. Something that not many of them even had the chance to do. My great-grandfather was simply uneducated. Pop (my grandfather) had to drop out of middle school to help make ends meet, but he valued education. So when my father graduated high school it was monumental for the Wells family. I strongly believe that Pop could have excelled as a mechanical engineer had he been able to continue his studies. There was hardly any machine that he couldn’t fix. He was also quick with mental math. I feel the same way about Dad. He had a brilliant mind. He could recall things he read decades before. He also had the remarkable ability to put abstract concepts into language that simple people could understand. Without a doubt, my father would have excelled in academia. But we can do nothing for the dead, and must address the living.

The other motivating factor for me to finish college was my children. I want my children to know that education is not something to fear. I do not want them to be destroyed for a lack of knowledge. I want them to know that hard things can be done, and they can be done with excellence.

There is a good chance that I will resume formal study again in the future. But currently I am sizing up a different giant.

Open For Business

There aren’t many things that I have done that have been more fulfilling than teaching music.

My parents bought me my first guitar. I kind of forced them into it by signing up for guitar class at school. I didn’t learn a whole lot about playing guitar in that class, but I got a refresher on music theory. Eventually a proper flat-picker wandering into our church and showed me how to read tabs and chord diagrams, the major scale, how to play Bluegrass rhythm in G, and one Tony Rice lick before he told me, “I can’t show you anything else. If you really want to learn you will.”

In one sense, being told it is time to sink or swim really motivated me to learn. Conversely, I still had so much to learn and I had to learn it the hard way. Not having a teacher forced me to be a scholar. Learning how to learn on your own is what teachers really mean when they say you need to study. I have been studying guitar for over twenty years. As the physicians say, I am a practicing musician.

Learning to play guitar did wonders for my self confidence as a teenager. As an adult it still amazes me that I can play. This skill has also opened significant doors in my life.

Earlier this year the Lord delivered me from my one hour commute to work. The first things I did was start teaching guitar lessons again. There aren’t many things that I have done that have been more fulfilling than teaching music.

Get something in your life that God can bless.

Pastor Jeremy Wilbanks

Pastor has been saying that a lot lately to the church. It is one of the reasons that I wanted to start teaching again. I also feel like I need to put some of things I have learned while studying business in college into practice. Most significantly, I feel a responsibility to help musicians avoid having to learn the hard way. And God is blessing it.

Here are the answers to some of the frequent questions I get asked about learning guitar.

Should I start out on acoustic or electric? Choose the one that you want to play. You won’t be motivated to practice the acoustic if you really want to play electric.

What age do they need to be to learn? The youngest that I have successfully taught was seven. As long as they can pay attention and have enough hand strength to fret a note I can work with them.

Am I too old to learn? You are never too old to learn.

So if you or anyone you know is interested in learning guitar or bass guitar please send them my way.

zanewells@yahoo.com

The Kind of Person I Want to Be

Loving people is something that is hard to fake.

I took a group of Young People to Youth Camp a couple of weeks ago. I am just now getting over the jet lag from staying up until 3am every morning. If everyone had as much fun as I did then I think we could call it a smashing success. We had to convince a couple of them that it would have a good time if they went. Some times it takes years before I can talk someone into trying something new. But even the Hobbits who left the Shire this week seemed to have a great time.

I noticed a young man at camp who had the peculiar characteristic of being endearing to everyone he spoke with. What makes people like this so magnetic? They are not necessarily popular because they are cool, although I guess you could say that many of them are cool. And maybe that is the only way we know how describe them because it is hard to articulate what they really are. It is more that cool. Not all cool people make folks feel good about themselves. These are popular because they make people feel special. They make you feel like that they sincerely care about you.

I have this ongoing quest with a dear friend to crack the code behind being the kind of person that I am trying to write about. A person you makes other people feel special. There is a question about whether or not this quality can be learned, or is it a gift that you either have or you don’t. I tend to think, or at least hope, that it can be developed. I believe that to be this kind of person, an endearing person, you really have to love people. Loving people is something that is hard to fake. Not that people cannot be faked into believe that you love them. But if you don’t love people, faking it is not going to be enjoyable. And it will be obvious to most of us. People can sense fake. People do not like fake.

Loving people is something that we are commanded to do. So that strengthens my hope that it can be learned.

There was a man in the book of Acts named Joses, but the everyone called him Barnabas. Barnabas means the Son of Consolation. When you give someone consolation, you make them feel better. It could also be translated Son of Encouragement. I just imagine that Barnabas had the kind of characteristics that I noticed last week. This is the man that connected with the newly converted Paul and introduced him to the Apostles. What was that conversation like? He was the pastor of the church in Antioch, where they were first called Christians. There is a strong chance that many of the congregants had relatives who were murdered at Saul’s orders. Barnabas believed in the young John Mark even after Paul lost confidence with him. Barnabas also understood sacrificial giving

There are a few people in my life that have played the roll of Barnabas in that they make me want to be better at everything that really matters. This is the kind of person I really want to be.

The Valley of the Shadow of Death

It is the waiting room to eternity and time doesn’t always behave properly because it must yield to a higher authority.

One of the most difficult and strangest places to be emotionally is while you are waiting for a loved one to pass on. The 23rd Psalm calls this place the valley of the shadow of death. It is not an easy place to walk through alone. You’ll need a shepherd. Perhaps you have been there. It is when the doctors do not give you any hope. And the hope that God offers doesn’t always make sense. Nothing really makes sense. On one hand you would never wish for someone to die, but on the other hand there is a realization that death is imminent and you don’t want to see someone suffering. It is the waiting room to eternity and time doesn’t always behave properly because it must yield to a higher authority. Day to day schedules no longer take precedent and you begin to wonder if the clock is accurate because you seem to float in time, suspended in the memories with your loved one. One minute you are bawling your eyes out and the next minute you are crying from laughter. You are not sure how you are supposed to feel. And that is ok.

I think you truly enter into this valley when you know that your loved one is no longer aware of your presence. It hurts.

People pop in and out of the waiting room like characters from another universe. They make you feel better. They bring food and memories. They mourn with you.

A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart. Sorrow is better than laughter: for by sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. Ecclesiastes 7:1-4

As a younger man I found this a difficult passage of scripture to reconcile with my limited understanding and narrow perception of death. And also life. After a little more hands on experience with loss I now find great comfort in the words of The Preacher in Ecclesiastes.

It is good to mourn. Everyone mourns differently. I tend to write.

Fair

Frankly, it wasn’t much different from where I grew up. A dot on the map with no hope of moving out, and no reason to move in.

I came back from college in December after one semester. I was back home with my parents while I prepared to move to Virginia in March of 2006. It was during this short window of time that Dad and I made several trips to Waveland, MS to help rebuild a church that was leveled by the fury of Hurricane Katrina. On our way back from one of these exhausting forays we stopped somewhere between Mobile and Montgomery and ate at Subway.

“Dad, we are in the mouth-breathing South right now.” I observed as we watched some of the clientele approach the Subway counter. We chuckled a bit. Frankly, it wasn’t much different from where I grew up. A dot on the map with no hope of moving out, and no reason to move in.

This turned our conversation toward Virginia. How it might be different. How it might be the same.

He wasn’t finished with his sandwich when he dropped his napkin on the table and exclaimed through tears of frustration and pain. “Son it ain’t fair! I’ve raised you and Zach and tried my best to get y’all to do God’s will, and now He’s taking you both away from me.” And it wasn’t fair. And I didn’t have an answer for him.

I got a phone call this morning at 7:20am from a dear friend who I haven’t seen since my Dad’s funeral. He asked if I remembered something that my Dad said right before he died.

It was around the time when I begin to realize that God was not going to heal my Dad. And maybe Zach was feeling the same way when in tears of frustration and pain he told Dad, “This is not fair.” And it wasn’t fair.

Dad replied, “Son, God’s not running a fair, he’s running a kingdom.”

Yes. I remember.

God is not fair! It is an old complaint. But it feels so fresh when you are the one hurting.

Yet ye say, The way of the Lord is not equal. Hear now, O house of Israel; Is not my way equal? are not your ways unequal? Ezekiel 18:25

God is just.

There are a lot of things about the Kingdom of God that run counter to our human ideals of fairness.

For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath. Matthew 13:12

So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen. Matthew 20:16

I hope that this comforts someone today. I encourage you to read these scriptures in their full context.

A Rock in The Stream

It is time to pick a new plan for reading my Bible through again. This year I chose a chronological plan because it helps me with a lot of questions I had as a kid who was very curious about history. For 2022 I did one of those plans where you get three chapters of Old Testament, some verses from Psalms, a couple of Proverbs, and a chapter from the New Testament. It was nice to get a variety every day, but I missed the feeling of moving from Malachi to the Matthew after you have been reading about how fed up God was with generation after backsliding generation then suddenly- to use a Bible word- there is hope!

“The flattening of language is a flattening of meaning. Language which is not taut with a sense of its own significance, which is apologetic in its desire to be acceptable to a modern consciousness, language in other words which submits to its audience, rather than instructing, informing, moving, challenging and even entertaining them, is no longer a language which can carry the freight the Bible requires. It has, in short, lost all authority.”

Adam Nicolson, God’s Secretaries.

As an English-speaking Christian who is gravely concerned with Truth, I use the King James Version as my Bible. I do like to cross reference other versions like the Amplified. If for nothing but its literary value, I prefer the King James Version. Even so, I always ask myself if I should read a different version for my daily reading plan. The conversation this year went like this.

Are you going to read the King James Version again? Yes. Why? I think I’m starting to get a grip on it.

This internal interrogation reminded me of something that Sarah recently showed me in one of the books on our bookshelf. It was something that my grandfather Tinker Reynolds wrote. He was constantly writing on everything. He would turn books sides ways and write in the margin.

“Most of our hard heads can never absorb the beautiful wisdom and knowledge as it flows by. Like a rock in a clean spring branch if taken out of the stream to lie in the sun will be dry and hot so soon. But as The (Lord God, Jesus) is forever flowing we do not have to ever be moved out of the stream and we may not be able to absorb it all, but we can stay fresh in it. Besides, if one could absorb it all there would the stream cease to flow to touch others, it is so soothing to me I want to pass it on to others. If I only had knowledge I would be forced to converse with fools and illeterates, and to a fool you couldn’t impart knowledge. Oh to think that Jesus our Lord will sit down in our chamber and talk to us and is so glad to give us his wisdom, but will also stop with a drunkard on the edge of the gutter and tell him I love you too. So glad to be like that rock in the creek, still in the flow.

Tinker

That’s really how I feel about reading the Bible. I want to stay fresh in it daily.