When she was a little girl, my niece Caitrin would tell you “Do it yourself.” This wasn’t snarky backtalk, it was her way of saying, you ought to try this. For a while, it was part of the shared narrative in our family. Even today, it might elicit a giggle or a wistful smile if inserted in the proper conversation.
A lot of do it yourself projects are undertaken due to budget constraints. It isn’t that we’re just naturally handy, it’s that we can’t afford to hire someone who knows what they are doing. But there is also something in us as humans that says I think I can do this. That’s called self-efficacy; confidence in your abilities. People with high self-efficacy have fewer psychological restraints keeping them from attempting do it yourself projects.
Take cutting your own hair. About 10 years ago I convinced myself that if Tammy could cut hair for a living, then I ought to be capable enough to do it for free. No offense to anyone named Tammy, I just imagine that most every man I know has had at least one haircut from someone named Tammy. And Tammy probably dyed her own hair. I’ve saved a few hundred dollars in haircuts over the years. I guess its time to buy a new guitar.
There is something exhilarating about starting a new do it yourself project. That’s the dream stage, when all your confidence is soaring and you’ve got a lot of energy. Then you realize that you don’t have the tools you need, or you bought the wrong tool and that confidence begins to sour. But you push through. You may get to a point where you think you are done only to realize that you installed something backwards, or you missed a critical step. Then there comes the day when the project is done, the tools are put away, and you can start putting books on your new bookcase.
I watched my Dad do a lot of do it yourself projects. I don’t think he was very imaginative when it came to home improvement or building, because he told me so. “I can’t see it, somebody has to show me.” But he married a dreamer who could sketch it out for him. And the two of them made my childhood feel like a perpetual home improvement project.
Some time around second or third grade my Mom convinced my Dad to knock a hole in the hall ceiling and add two bedrooms and a bathroom in the attic of our 100 year old house. They also added central heating and air. Before that I can only remember box fans, a huge wood stove in the living room, and a gas heater in the hall that my baby sister pulled herself up on and burned her little hands. Otherwise, we relied on the twelve foot ceilings to keep cool in the Alabama summers. In reality, the messiest part of the renovation probably only lasted about a year. But was the beginning of a series of home improvement projects that lasted until I moved out of the house.
There were a lot of projects that Dad hired out. Like the electricity. Uncle James, an electrician, rewired the house. He didn’t say wire though, he said “Wore”. Uncle Scott put on a metal roof. It was red. I think he did the vinyl siding too. Greg Brock finished the sheetrock. But for everything else, it was Dad and his tools.
I think that is where I got the confidence to do projects that require power tools. In the summer of 2025 I thought about Dad nearly every day that I worked on transforming my garden shed into a studio. I wish he could’ve been there with me. He might of told me how much money I was wasting. But Mom would’ve helped me decorate it. Or she’d let me watch her decorate it while she smiled with her whole body. I can see my Mom’s smile in my daughters and nieces sometimes.
Maybe you’re about to take on a do it yourself project. Whether it is out of necessity, or adventure, I just wanted to let you know you can do it. I believe in you. Go for it!
…unless its like heart surgery or something serious, then you better get someone that knows what they’re doing.
Mostly From Memory 